Wednesday

How to Handle People Who are Rude to Your Family


It is nearly impossible to avoid rude people these days. Everywhere you go people are invading your family’s space with foul language, obnoxious behavior, cigarette and cigar smoke, obscenity, and a host of things that you would prefer to shield your family from. You don’t have to back down or run away when you encounter these people.

The first and most obvious way to avoid confrontation with rude people is to only take your family to "family-friendly" places. If you are hanging out in a bar at 11:00pm with your children, you should probably consider leaving rather than asking everyone to quiet down and stop drinking. Later, evaluate why you were there with your children in the first place. I know, this scenario sounds absurd, but I witness it all the time. In a family-friendly environment, people are more polite and more tolerant of children's mischief. Usually these places are smoke-free, don't serve alcohol, and typically don't tolerate obscene behavior. This, in itself, is a deterrent for a large part of the crowd that you are trying to avoid while spending family time.

Be prepared because no matter where you take your family, you will eventually encounter people who have no regard for others and these are the ones you have to make the decision whether to confront or avoid. The easy thing to do is to pick up your family and move away from them or leave rather than try to correct the situation, but this approach teaches your children to run away from problems rather than handle them. Also, this person may be causing discomfort to a lot of other people and will continue to do so until their behavior is corrected. They should be stopped!

Evaluate each situation for what it is. Is the offending person breaking a rule of the establishment that you are visiting or are they violating any law? Is their behavior affecting other people? Is your family's safety or health threatened because of this person? If confrontation is the solution you choose, establish friendly contact with the person and remind them that they are in a family environment and ask that they refrain from whatever it is that they are doing. Don't use obscenities or insults and don't project threatening body language. Be polite and speak in a firm voice, but don't be loud and try to draw attention. If you embarrass the person right away, they may retaliate against you for that reason alone. The person may be unaware that their behavior is offensive and you don't want to be perceived as the obnoxious one. If they apologize and stop their behavior, return to your family and try to avoid contact with the person for the remainder of your visit. Do not discuss what just happened with your family until you are completely out of that environment.

If the person disregards you or is rude to you, then do a second evaluation. Is this person stronger or more physically fit than you? Could they possibly have a weapon? Are you outnumbered? If any of these situations are true, then you should choose your next move wisely. It is not worth sustaining bodily harm or going to jail for a stupid mistake. If you have an obvious advantage over the person, repeat your request and inform them that if their behavior does not improve immediately, you will seek assistance from security or a manager of the establishment. If these people are not available or if the person seems unimpressed, then take your mobile phone from your pocket and call the police. Inform the person that you are calling the police as you walk away, but be careful to watch your back. The thought of being arrested may influence the offender to move on or it may cause the situation to escalate quickly.

Do not assault the person or threaten them under any circumstance! If they attack you, then you are welcome to defend yourself and any witnesses to the event will surely corroborate your story if the authorities are involved at a later time. Just be careful not to take on more than you can handle. Your family's safety is absolutely your top priority and you should avoid all of this if possible, but at some point, you have to make a stand and say "enough is enough" or rude people will gradually taint every enjoyable family establishment available to the rest of us.


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Teaching Others Good Social Behavior
Diffusing a Family Argument

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